You might help your family member settle into life in the nursing center best by remembering that he's not just moving into a home, but into his home. Ask your father how he would like his home decorated and arranged. You can help him make that home as comfortable and personal as possible.

Although it's important than any decorative item not interfere with the care giving mission or policies of the nursing center, thoughtful decorating can help the nursing center meet its goals of caring not just for the body, but also for the mind and spirit of its residents as well.

Don't forget to discuss with staff members your father's and your decorating ideas. Some of the best ideas for brightening up a family member's room can come from the staff that sees them every day.

• You can help restore some sense of a home environment by decorating your father's room with things brought from his home. In borrowing from the former home environment, try to go beyond just moving items from the old into the new. Instead, try also to capture and recreate the same mood, texture and tone.
• Bring things your Dad has made or collected. Bring items that have always been important to him, like a special chair or pictures.
• Provide large photos of yourself or your family. Get the children involved in creating handmade items for all occasions. In most cases, the brighter and more cheerful, the better.
• Stimulate all the senses. Borrow decorating ideas from Mother Nature - nothing can be as refreshing as a bit of the outdoors brought indoors. Find flowers, colorful leaves, and other reminders of the seasons to help brighten his room.
• Provide paintings or prints of his favorite subjects or of religious or other familiar scenes.
• If your father is able to enjoy them, supply magazines, books and newspapers for him; if not, bring tape-recorded books or music. If he subscribed to the daily newspaper, keep it coming.
• Provide a telephone or TV if his room can accommodate them.
• A telephone can be one of the best items you can provide if your Dad is able to use it. This will allow him to stay in touch with friends and family and help combat a feeling of isolation which many people fear.

If you've ever moved yourself, especially out of town, you've already experienced a part of what your mother is going through. But add to that the stress she's experiencing from the loss of her cherished independece, from living in unfamiliar surroundings with scores of strangers, and from trying to accept you in the unnatural role of caregiver, and you'll begin to understand just how major a life change this can be.

Suffice it to say that the first 30 days may be uncomfortable for both of you. Don't be surprised if during the early days of your mother's residency, the whole family experiences some degree of guilt, tension, fear or fatigue.

Your mother is likely to do or say things that will upset you and make you feel guilty. She may express either verbally or non-verbally her dissatisfaction with the new arrangements and her desire to go home. She may act mad or hurt, berate or ignore you.

Remember that these behaviors - and your reactions to them - are perfectly normal under the circumstances. Adjusting to their new living arrangements is a process that all residents go through in their own way, and at their own speed. In the meantime, the staff is always there to help see you through the peaks and valleys of this very emotional experience. Don't be afraid to ask for a little moral support.

Please click here to review more Frequently Asked Questions, and you may also contact marketing@consulatehc.com for any additional questions.